Stop Claiming You're A Safe Space. Start Proving It.
"We're already a safe space."
That's what the venue told us when we offered bobu training.
I looked around. No visible signs. No clear protocols. Just vibes and good intentions.
"So how do people know?" I asked.
"Oh, we've always been a safe space."
Right. Safety by tradition. Safety by reputation. Safety because we said so.
This is the script everywhere. Venues, workplaces, communities – they all say they're safe. But when you ask how people actually know, you get the same circular logic: "We just are. We always have been."
Meaning: if you have to ask, you don't belong.
The "If You Know, You Know" Problem
Invisible safety assumes everyone already knows.
When safety depends on insider knowledge – knowing which staff member to approach, which corners are actually safe, which unwritten rules keep you protected – you've built a system that only works for people who already fit in.
Everyone else is guessing.
And when they guess wrong? When they need help and can't find it, or speak up and discover the "safe space" wasn't safe for them?
"Well, you should have known." "That's just how we do things here." "Everyone else seems fine."
Most venues aren't being cynical. They genuinely think their space works. They've just never tested whether everyone knows how to access that safety.
What Real Safety Actually Looks Like
Real safety isn't subtle. It doesn't require interpretation or insider knowledge.
It's visible. Clear signs showing where to get help. Staff trained and identifiable. Public protocols, not whispered ones.
It's systematic. Not dependent on which staff member happens to be working that day. Not reliant on people "just knowing" what to do.
It's practiced. Like fire drills. Everyone knows the procedures because they've been shown, not because they've been here long enough to absorb them through osmosis.
The Poster Problem
Most places do one of two things: either they have nothing visible at all, or they think a diversity poster and a rainbow flag counts as infrastructure.
But posters and flags are decoration, not infrastructure.
A poster doesn't tell someone what to do when they're being harassed. A flag doesn't train staff to recognise distress. A sticker doesn't create accountability when something goes wrong.
These things signal intention, which matters, but intention without infrastructure is just performance.
Why the "We've Always Been" Defence Is Dangerous
"We've always been a safe space" shuts down questions before they're asked. It positions safety as tradition rather than practice. It implies that questioning the safety is the problem, not the lack of visible systems.
It also lets venues off the hook. If safety is just "who we are" rather than "what we do," there's no need to train staff, update policies, or measure outcomes. Safety becomes vibes, not accountability.
And when something inevitably goes wrong? The venue can claim surprise. "But we've always been safe! This has never happened before!"
They've never been forced to prove it before, that's all.
What Venues Should Actually Be Doing
If you want to claim your space is safe, make safety visible.
Clear signage showing people where to get help, who to approach, what the process is.
Trained staff who know how to respond to distress, harassment, and emergencies and not just managers, train everyone.
Public protocols so people don't have to guess what happens if they report something.
Regular practice, because safety isn't a one-time training, it's ongoing.
Accountability for when your safety systems fail, because they will.
Have a plan that isn't "deny it happened."
We've always been a safe space' isn't proof of safety.
Real safety doesn't ask people to take your word for it. It shows them. Clearly, visibly, systematically.
We built bobu because we were tired of watching venues perform safety instead of practicing it.
